Bang! The Last Christmas
by Mice
Summary: A story of time travel, Brit Pop, and the murder of George Michael (the other guy from Wham!) in 1984. Gambit and (young) Iceman go back in time and undercover with help from the ISA and mega-star Andrew Ridgeley to prevent a tragedy. GO FOR IT!


**Bang!**

 **Prologue**

 **By Mice**

 ****Updated Standard Mice Disclaimer****

Mice is in no way associated with Marvel or any Euro pop group from the 80s. This should be obvious because she's posting her stories here. And why is she still doing it? Because work, life and social obligations do not make her as happy - thinking of dumb ideas and working them out does. Any unsent feedback will result in a Tiki Curse. One day, I'll bake for someone who sends me feedback and it's a total win because I bake an amazing apple-pecan pie (called General Zod pie for you will kneel before it).

"We need men of skills, Mr. LeBeau."

"I know plenty o'men with skills."

"Unique skills."

"I know dem as well."

Special Agent Shane Donovan, high ranking member of the International Security Alliance wearing a tailored Burberry suit with a shirt as crisp as his English accent, nodded. "Let's be honest, LeBeau, the world is filled with worthless men with wealthy talent. What the ISA is looking for is a man with the kind of skill that can steal, fight, impersonate and…well…Steve?"

A man with an eye patch came forward holding a cassette tape. His cologne was a Miller High Life that he had drunk the night before (or that morning). "We need someone with enough charisma to be able do something like this and not be laughed at." He handed the tape over to LeBeau.

LeBeau was Remy LeBeau. Remy had a very dark, secretive past before he had joined the X-Men. He had done dark deeds for bad men that no one else but him knew how deep they went. But no one knew about the contents of the tape he was just handed.

Or, more importantly, the cover image.

"We showed that picture to countless women and men in our offices with just one question – "

"'Would you have sex with this man?'"

"And do you know what they all said?"

"Do you know what _I_ said?"

The cover image was of a young Remy LeBeau with painted on acid wash jeans, a leather jacket that fell just off his shoulders. Long waves of brown hair with natural auburn highlights circled his body like fire that licked a well-defined ass that seemed to both wink and smile at the camera. In a hot pink font the title of the album – "LeBeau Your Mind".

Most importantly, there was the bolo tie with no shirt.

"100% of those surveyed would agree to the deed."

"I would absolutely fuck you with no reservations about my heterosexuality based on this cover alone."

Nobody had ever been able to link Remy to this album he made during the brief Tejano-Zydeco Disco craze that hit Texas-Louisiana for three months. Possibly, because its existence defied existence itself. Remy stared at his past self and realized that he was no longer a young man.

"So, what's this mission that only I can help with?"

"I apologize, but this is going to sound farfetched—" Shane stammered.

"Try me." Remy grinned with a confidence of a man who had seen things.

"Okay. Well…the ISA is looking for two men to go back in time to Christmas 1984 to pose as a new wave band to prevent the assassination of a young man named Georgios Panayiotou, better known as George Michael."

"The kid from Arrested Development?"

"The other guy in Wham!." Steve got out an album cover featuring George Michael and Andrew Ridgeley.

"George Michael…I have not thought about that name in years." Remy stared at the bearded boy on the album. "You almost forget that Andrew Ridgeley had a partner."

"You know who didn't?" Steve asked. "Andrew Ridgeley."

"Sir Andrew Ridgeley is funding this project. He believes that George was murdered because his existence threatened a dark power and if he had lived, a powerful shift would happen in present day for the better." Shane took the album cover and shook his head. "Who knows what that power is but the thought of being an old man in this world makes me want to do something. Are you in?"

Remy began to nod. "You said you needed two men."

"Two men of special skills."

"Very special and unique skills, yep."

"Are you saying you found someone just as charismatic as moi?"

Steve and Shane looked at each other and whispered. After doing a quite tourney of Rock Paper Scissors and losing three in a row, Steve began to explain. "Not…exactly."

"Not exactly?"

Steve went to get an iPad and loaded a video. "See, we needed someone with this sort of special skill…as well as being a good fighter."

 _ICE-ICE BABY!_ _ICE-ICE BABY!_ _Now STOP! Collaborate and LISTEN! Iceman's out and he GLISTENS!_

"This coming out video for the super-hero Iceman, aka Robert Drake, has as many hits as a Taylor Swift video and is as terrible as a Demi Lovato one. It's embarrassing to watch and when we polled the office to see if anyone would fuck this man, we couldn't even ask the question because they just wanted to see the video again. And again."

"Not one bloody answer! Just "again! Play it again!"!"

Remy had watched it ten times when Bobby had sent it to him. He denied this to everybody, though.

Steve turned off the video. "With your charisma and Drake's stage presence of a nice smelling tire fire, we believe that you two can save George Michael and make this world right."

"Has Bobby agreed?"

"Bobby has agreed and has asked for an ISA badge."

"We don't think he understands that he cannot travel in time with this badge."

"Regardless, he really likes the badge."

"One more question – is this older Bobby or younger Bobby?" Remy remembered that the video was a joint effort between the Bobby's and was never clear on who actually took the credit.

"Oh yeah…he also asked for a badge."

"We could not give him a badge."

"We did give him an ice cream sandwich."

"He really likes the ice cream sandwich."

Remy took a deep breath. "That clears nothing up. But I'll do it."

Shane nodded and opened the door.

Bobby the Younger held a badge. "I'm going back in time!"

Bobby the Elder held a sticky ice cream sandwich wrapper. "Is there a garbage can somewhere?"

 **To Be Continued…**


End file.
